Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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