K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
