Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
