Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
