News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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