Christians are straight up FREAKS
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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