Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize