uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
