haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
