I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
