Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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