I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
