do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
