Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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