Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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