ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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