i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
