I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
