i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
