can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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