I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
