It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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