I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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