ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
