what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
