This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
