quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
