Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize