She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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