That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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