Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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