i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
