sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
