remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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