Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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