i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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