K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
