I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I came so hard my ears popped.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
