Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i've created a new STD.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
