had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
