this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
