There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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