You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
