we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
