you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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