Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
