god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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