A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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