this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
