wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
