He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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