Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize