he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
