Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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