I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize