If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
