remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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