I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
