I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
