I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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