Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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