ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
