never play flip cup with pint glasses
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
