...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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