Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
