Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
