I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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